Seeing a friend go through any kind of struggle is hard work, especially if they aren’t quite aware they are struggling.
That’s often the case when it comes to alcohol, and every time we see them we can see them drinking themselves into an early grave.
Often we can even be in denial ourselves, convincing ourselves that they drink as much as anyone else or they’re currently just going through a hard time. But that can start a cycle that’s difficult to get out of. In fact, even noticing someone’s drinking habits perhaps suggests that they do have a problem.
Reaching out to them about that problem can be key, preventing their habit from spiralling any further and getting their health, both mental and physical, back on track. Of course, that’s a tricky pathway to navigate, but there are plenty of tips out there to aid you in confronting your friend about their drinking…
Choose the Right Time and Place
When it comes to talking to a friend, finding the right time and place is absolutely integral. You want to initiate the conversation when they are sober, calm and in an environment that is comfortable for them.
Avoid bringing it up during a social event and be sure that you’re in a quiet and familiar place. This will be much more conducive to a free-flowing conversation. In an unfamiliar environment, you will put them on the back foot, close the door to their emotions and essentially lead to you being unable to connect with them.
Express Your Concerns with Empathy
It’s important that the core emotions you show during your conversation with them are empathy, compassion and concern. We shouldn’t be judgemental, place blame or show anger. We need to express our feelings and observations and express our worry for them.
It will help in ensuring your friend doesn’t become defensive and that they are clear that the place this conversation is coming from is a place of love, rather than wanting to criticise or judge.
Be Specific and Provide Examples
You’ll actually get much further in the conversation if you back up what you’re saying. Rather than simply being concerned about their drinking, highlight examples where their drinking has been a cause for concern.
Point out specific behaviours and how they have affected other people. This can make the issue more tangible and harder to ignore as they will be able to see the consequences of their behaviour more clearly.
Listen and Offer Support
While it will be you initiating the conversations, be a good listener too, especially if they are opening up to you. You want to understand their perspective as it’ll help provide a much clearer picture as to why your friend is perhaps drinking more and fallen into this unhealthy habit.
There could be underlying issues there that you can help with, while providing support in the form of research can also be useful, seeking out alcohol rehab options, and support groups and how you can be there every step of the way with them.
Prepare for Resistance or Denial
It’s important to be prepared for the possibility that your friend may react defensively, with denial or anger. Confronting someone about their drinking can be difficult for them to accept, especially if they are not ready to face the issue. If your friend becomes defensive, try to remain calm and patient. Reiterate that you’re coming from a place of concern and that you’re available to talk whenever they’re ready.
Avoid getting into an argument or trying to force them to see your point of view. If the conversation becomes too heated, it might be best to step back and revisit the topic at another time. It’s important to recognise that while you can express your concerns, ultimately, the decision to change must come from them.